


Out of ashes

by LilSqeeze



Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:08:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilSqeeze/pseuds/LilSqeeze
Summary: Amaya has always been worried about other people's opinion of her. Luckily she has her best friend to help her out through all of her insecurities.  Amaya would not be able to manage this world without her best friend, Freya.Things are about to change for Amaya when she receives the worst news of her life: her house has burned down to the ground. Not only that, the whole family has to move into her grandparents house, just until her parents have figured out what to do. Completely broken and full of despair she decides to reinvent herself in this new town, what else is there is to lose?





	1. Intro

The bell goes off and the middle-aged woman lifts up her head. Her gaze returns quickly to the page again, studying the picture in front of her. There is a new couple taking London by storm, apparently. As the woman reads about their first outing together, she listens to the girl who is throwing different items in her basket. In her head, the woman who is currently sitting behind the counter in a small grocery store, is on a red carpet with all of England's press snapping pictures of her. 

In the other side of the store, the girl tries to be as quiet as she can as she roams around in the shop, picking up everything her mum sent her out for. She is trying to focus but as she comes further down on the list, she gets more and more nervous. All the different scenarios are going through her head and she tries to plan out what she will say when she pays.

"Ehm, excuse me. I'm done shopping now," the girl says as she approaches the woman. Her checks turn red. The middle-aged woman tries to make eye contact while scanning the commodities. It´s no use, and she gives up, settling with just a warm smile on her face. 

"How's your day going, honey?" 

"No thank you," the girl replies, clearly not registering what she said. In her experience the woman should´ve asked if she wants a bag. "Oh, I thought you… Never mind! Sorry," she tries to save face. The girl continued to fumble with her words as she tried to find her visa in her purse. It all happens very fast; a pack of gum falls out; she beds down to pick it up and hits her head on the counter on the way up. She falls to the ground. Her head throbs, and she holds her cold hand over the painful area. The store is suddenly spinning, making it even harder to think of something normal to say. 

"Oh my god," the woman exclaims, and she rushes towards the girl on the floor. "Are you alright?"

The girl doesn´t know what to reply, so she settled with a weak “Yeah." The bell over the door rings out again and a man in a suit enters. His eyes immediately goes to her. In surprise he raises an eyebrow. The man stops for just a second more. Then, he continues on: he grabs a basket and moves into the store. The woman returns behind the counter after helping the girl back on her feet. They finish the transaction and pack up the bought things without a single word being exchanged between them.

The girl is almost out of the store, thank god, when she hits her shoulder against the door and tares her bag right open. There is nothing she can do but keep her head down in embarrassment as she accepts another bag that is handed to her, picks up all the items and places them into the new bag.

All she can think about is her prayers to make her disappear from existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This book is a fan fiction with Tom Holland! If you love him as much as I do then you will definitely want to stay here... The story includes, but is not limited, to dancer Tom and good guy Tom
> 
> Really hope you like the little taste of the story, it's not even the beginning yet ;) 
> 
> Updates are on Fridays and Sundays


	2. Hard Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get two chapters in one day because I'm so excited for this new story!

Amaya made her way down the hallway three days later, thankfully she wasn't in the spotlight this time. People were too preoccupied with greeting their friends after a long summer break. To be honest, Amaya couldn't remember the last time she had someone to greet after a long vacation. In fact, that very day had always been her least favourite day for as long as she could remember. A new semester meant teachers prying in their private life, students having no choice but to paint a picture of their summer, telling their names for the hundredth time or coming up a fun fact about them. As if that would make them all get along.

As Amaya turned around the corner towards her English class, she spotted her best, and only, friend, Freya. It was very likely that Amaya wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for Freya. No, she hadn't had any depressive moods or suicidal thoughts but she probably wouldn't show up for school.

"Hi," Amaya said quietly when they pulled away from the embrace. "Are you a sight for sore eyes! People are so... happy. It's school, I don't get it" The linked arms and walked into the classroom, which was already filling up with students. "Thank god I have most of classes with you! At least then I have someone to turn to during discussion."

"Well, just know that you actually have to discuss with me! It won't be the highpoint of your day, trust me," Freya retorted, referring to the one time they had a discussion over a movie. To say it got heated would be an understatement.

The lesson started and Amaya was sad to say that she was right – they had to introduce themselves with a fact about themselves and one fun thing they did that summer. Amaya stuttered her name and barely managed to say that she wasn't interesting and didn't have any fact about herself before she sunk down in her seat. The teacher just let it pass and moved on with the lesson. For some reason the teacher didn't call on her for the rest of the lesson.

The rest of the day was more of the same, saying their names, maybe a hobby they had or their favourite subject. It was a day from hell where the only relief was lunch. It was a tradition that the two of them would sit outside on the grass and eat lunch. Away from everyone else. They talked about their summer and how they would have liked to go on a vacation together, which could be a reality one day. The both of them had heard stories of how their parents had met, or how they all had travelled to Paris, Amsterdam and China together. The two of them could picture it, laying on a sunbed together, pointing out particularly handsome guys and drinking their diet cokes.

"I have something to tell you, but please don't be mad, okay?" Freya suddenly said in between topics. Amaya perked up and felt herself get tense She nodded even though she wanted to say that no, she couldn't possibly promise that. "I met someone. And I promised that I would eat lunch with him tomorrow."

"What? You met someone? Like a boyfriend?" Amaya couldn't understand quite what her best friend was saying. Was she ditching her for a guy now? "So, what, now I won't be able to see you anymore? Are you going to be busy all the time?" She couldn't help but be defensive.

"No, of course you will see me! What I meant was that he wants to meet you, I haven't talked about anything else so it's only natural that he wants to meet you. I said I needed to give you a heads up before introducing you," Freya spoke quickly.

"Oh..." Was all Amaya could say. It had always just been the two of them. What would happen now? She couldn't possibly be herself around this new guy.

"Yeah," Freya said.

They didn't speak more that day. It was weird to Amaya that Freya actually had a side of her life that she didn't know about. When she got home, she wrote all her emotions out in a text and sent it. Then she did as she always did, she dove into books.

***

It turned out that Freya's boyfriend, Dan, was a really nice guy. It didn't seem like he minded that Amaya didn't say anything at all during lunch. First, he asked her about her opinion on their lunch, to which she just shrugged and smiled back. He asked if she liked the book he just finished reading, and she just nodded her head. He asked if they should do something that weekend. The bell caught their conversation short.

They walk back to the huge building and Freya said goodbye to her new boyfriend by the main door. Then she turned to Amaya. "Did you read what I sent you yesterday?" Amaya nodded. "Well, I meant it. You really don't have to be scared to ask me questions! The hardest part was having to keep it from you. This isn't something I want to have to separate from you, I want it to be something I can talk to you about. It would mean a lot if we could do something this weekend."

"He is really nice," was all Amaya said. They entered the classroom and sat down, the teacher starting the class at once. They didn't have much time to talk about it for the rest of the day. It wasn't until they walked towards the parking lot they could talk.

"You didn't really say anything about this weekend. You don't have to, I get that you find it really difficult to be in those situations. We could just make it really chilled, maybe go bowling or make food and watch a movie. My parents are away this weekend so the two of you can come over, and maybe you can sleep over? I think we need some best friend rehab after the month of not seeing each other."

"Alright! You can tell him we can do something on Saturday. Just know I'm doing this for you! Because I love you." Freya hugged Amaya in excitement before she got in her car and drove away.

Just then her own ride came walking up to her, a smile on her face. "Hey weirdo," she said and unlocked her car. Amaya tried to hold her smile, but couldn't quite manage. The girl got in the car, but Amaya just waited outside, looking around for her sister. Finally, she approached with a big smile on her face.

"Hey, sis. Did you have a good day?" they both entered the car at the same time. "Oh my god, Camilla you look so good today! The summer really treated you good," she continued on before Amaya had the chance to answer.

"Really? I mean, I did get a tan this summer and I dyed my hair - can't really see a difference." Camilla flipped down the sunscreen, but only to look in the mirror. "Let's go."

This was the only time Amaya got to hear the inside gossip at the school. The ride home after school was a tradition, and Amaya loved that she got this insider look into the lives of the other students. They always had something new to tell; Dave became the new star on a football team; Isabell's parents just got divorced; Francesca had sex for the first time with Dave! Today's gossip consisted of a list of who had hooked up with whom during the summer. It was an extensive list with a lot of names. "No, Erica did not hook up with Julian, but with Justin!" It was hard for Amaya to keep up because even though she had gone to school with these people for a long time she still didn't know who everyone was.

"So, Amaya. Have you hooked up with anyone this summer?" The question caught Amaya off guard. As soon as she heard her name mentioned she had her heart in the throat.

"No!" she answered fast. "I mean, I wouldn't say no, but... I'm not like that."

"Why not? It's fun!"

"Give it a rest," Amaya's siter, Eliza, said to her best friend.

"No really, why? Are you that insecure?"

"I guess..."

"Just stop caring about what everybody says about you. Your life will be a lot easier." Amaya just held her mouth shut.

They moved on to another subject. Amaya was filled with adrenaline, she felt dizzy and had a dry mouth. She closed her eyes for the rest of ride and just tried to shut out her thoughts. Someone was talking about her. Someone was talking about her but she shouldn't care it seemed like. It seemed like that when Camilla said what she said: _Just stop caring about what everybody says about you..._ It was weird, she had never heard anything being said about her. But then again, she usually didn't function in social settings.

"Tell mum I will be back for dinner around five!" Amaya's sister, Eliza, said as the car stopped outside their house.

Amaya opened the door and was on her way out when her foot got caught in the car. She fell hands and headfirst on the ground. Camilla's mocking laugh 'was all Amaya could hear. She dusted herself off and faced the car, dizzy now.

"Bye."

Amaya called Freya to talk about what she had heard as soon as she was in the comfort of her own bedroom. It gave a lot of comfort to know that she had someone to lean on and someone she could call in these situations. This was usually how things went – she called Freya, who would calm her down and reassure her that things were fine.

"Have you heard anyone talking about me?" Was the first thing Amaya asked when the ringing stopped. She was sitting on her bed; one hand in her hair, the other one was clutching her phone.

"What, no! Who gave you that idea?"

"I don't know! I think I wouldn't know if someone was talking about me. I don't want to be the one who everyone talks about."

"You're not! People just don't..." Freya didn't finish her sentence.

"They don't notice me?"

"Nope, they don't."

Thank god. That is good news to me! I just want to disappear into the crowd, to not be seen."

"Why? Would it be that bad if people noticed you? I know you, the real you. People would love the Amaya I know."

"Ha! I can't even talk to strangers. I always seem to say the wrong thing, but not when I'm with you. I wish I could be a lot less awkward around people. It would make my life a whole lot easier."

"That's because you can relax and be yourself with me. I think people would love you if you would just let loose." Amaya laughed at this.

"Not possible. Anyway, are your parents coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Nope. Listen, I have to get ready for a movie date, but I will see you tomorrow?"

"Jepp, enjoy your date. And please, don't forget me."

"As if I could ever forget you. Bye," and the line went dead.

Amaya studied a bit before she got ready for practice. As soon as the tights came on, she got excited. It had been a couple of days since she had danced and used her muscles. It was different when she danced. She knew what she was doing. Every movement was determined before she did it, she had control of her body. What was even better, her mind was shut off when she danced. Some people play video games, some people go to parties, and some people dance to disconnect. It took a while, but Amaya had found something that she loved, and it was all hers. No one knew that she danced, except for her best friend of course.

"Hey, mum!" she said as she entered the studio in the basement. Her mum, Margaret, was a ballet instructor and taught some of the kids and teenagers in the town. Their family didn't have money enough to rent a dance studio so they made the basement into a studio – turns out teaching a child how to spin doesn't earn you the big bucks. "You ready?"

"Honey, I can't today. The Simmons are coming over for dinner and I haven't even started dinner yet. But you have two hours until they're here, so go to town. I'll call you up when it's thirty minutes left, is that alright?" Margaret was already halfway up the stairs then, clearly stressed. Before Amaya could answer her mother had closed the door on top of the stairs shut behind her.

-

When she walked down the stairs the guests were already settled in their living room and a strange man was sitting in her usual spot. He had a bald spot on his head and almost didn't fit into the chair. A woman was sitting beside him, her brown hair curled for the occasion. The two of them smiled brightly at her as she entered. "Hi," said the woman brightly. Amaya just smiled back. It was only the three of them; Amaya wished she had gone to the kitchen first. She sat down, picked up a magazine and started to flip through it. For a while they sat in silence.

"Dinner is served in the dining room," Margaret said suddenly. The dinner was actually kind of pleasant. The couple mostly ignored Amaya and let her eat without trying to make conversation with her. That was until everyone was done with dinner and Amaya stood up to gather their plates. This was a trick she had learned early in life. If she did the dishes, she didn't need to sit in the dining room alone with her parent's guests.

Her dad, Liam came into the kitchen with an empty bottle of wine. "It gets a little crazy, let's just hide out here for a while," he whispers. The two of them finishes the dishes, Amaya washing and Liam drying them off and putting them back where they belong. "How was the first days back?"

"Meh," Amaya said. She jumped up on the counter, resting her head against the cupboard. She closed her eyes and imagined herself having this conversation with her dad, but in an alternate universe.

_"So good! You know Kirsten? She asked if I wanted to sleep over with the other girls. I just said yes. You won't believe what the team did, either! They voted me captain. I didn't even know they did that. Oh, and Kyle says hi," she imagined herself saying. Kyle would be her boyfriend. Maybe it would make her dad proud if she could have that life. If she wasn't so awkward._

"Don't be down. It just isn't your time yet, and I'm glad. People who peek in school rarely do well in real life," Liam said with his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "You're doing great in every single subject, never break the law and is nice to everyone. You're every parent's dream!"

-

Amaya tried her best to keep up with the teacher. He talked too fast, she had to give up on notetaking only five minutes into the class. The clock on the wall was ticking loudly, reminding her how slow the time went by. _Tick. Tick. Tick._ It made her heart beat faster and her hands and feet started to itch for movement.

A knock on the door silenced the teacher. The headmistress popped her head in. "You can keep going Mr. Hartford, I'll just borrow miss. Carson. Bring your belongings, dear." Amaya could feel all her classmate's eyes on her as she packed up.

The headmistress brought her to her office, where the counsellor and Eliza was waiting for them. Amaya could tell the headmistress and counsellor were feeling bad for the sisters. For what, she didn't know.

"Your dad called with some very bad news," the counsellor said as the headmistress took her place behind her desk. He patted the chair beside him, a gesture meaning she should sit down. And she sat in between her sister and the counsellor. Eliza gave her sister a confused look and raised her shoulders. "There was a fire at your house. Now, everyone got out and no one got seriously hurt, that's the good news. Your mum is in the hospital for a check-up, but she appears in good health. Unfortunately, that is all the good news we have for you. The firemen tried to stop it but when they got there it was already too late. I'm sorry to have to say that your house was burnt down to the ground."

Eliza grabbed her sister's hand and squeezed hard. It seemed all air was pushed out of her. There were tears in her eyes instantly, she couldn't stop them from falling down her face. "What? Is there nothing left?"

"It appears there isn't, I'm sorry girls," the headmistress said, handing the two of them a box of tissues. "Your father is on his way, he just wanted you to know as soon as possible. Is there anything you need before you leave today? I am sure your whole family will get through this," she tried to comfort them. They just shook their heads. "Alright, we will give you some privacy. I'll be right outside."

The two girls were left alone. Amaya had never been so thankful to have her sister as when they sat in that office and cried over everything that had been lost. Every second she was reminded of something new that she had lost and could never get back: her baby photos, the T-shirt of her late grandfather, the necklace her grandmother gave her and so much more.

Liam was clearly in destress; they saw it the moment they entered the car. Amaya had never seen her dad like that. So angry. So stressed.

So sad.

"Dad?" Eliza said through her tears. He nodded in response. "What's going to happen now?"

He blew out all air in his lungs, feeling like he was drowning in all his feelings. 

"I have no idea, sweetie." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted on Friday and Tom will be there ;) I CAN'T WAIT. 
> 
> Please like the chapter if you like it, it would mean the world to me and I will know if I'm on the right track.
> 
> BTW: I will try and make all chapters 3k+ words


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